Healing From Breast Cancer Takes Lots of Energy and Spoons

Today I was full of it. I woke up after a great night's sleep, popped up, and buzzed around a bit before I promptly went out to walk the dogs. To walk the dogs means I am dressed which today was no big deal but sometimes seems to take forever AND the act of getting dressed, picking out clothes, finding my favorite socks, takes it allll out of me.

 

What about the days when I wake up and get ready to start my day, and before it even starts,  I am ready to lay back down again?

Really...What's the difference?

Sometimes it's obvious like staying up late and watching Bridgerton but sometimes it's hard to trace. I feel like I partied the night before and I in NO WAY partook in any shenanigans of any sort. 

Again, what's the difference? 

SPOONS! 

Have you ever heard of the spoon theory? It was created by  Christine Miserandino to help describe chronic pain and the limitations that come with it. Recovering from having breast cancer doesn't mean you're going to have chronic pain for the rest of your life but it does have some similarities, especially when you are in the thick of it.

So Spoons... 

Imagine every day you get a certain number of spoons. And as you know, every day seems different, hence a different number of spoons, depending on the day. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Every activity, transition, energy-sapping, emotionally draining event uses some of your spoons. When you're out of spoons you will know, and probably those around you. (They will know.) This is for everyone, whether they are in breast cancer recovery mode and healing or they just happen to be your neighbor with two-year-old twins. (By lunch this Mom does not have many spoons left :-/)

Going into your day knowing that you are allotted a certain number of spoons is such awareness and with awareness comes choice. "Do I want to stop by Target before I hit the grocery store? No...that is not worth the spoon or spoons plural cuz the parking lot for Target is always crazy. That's at least two spoons! So no! I am skipping Target and just going to the grocery store and then getting home. Cozy pants and then we'll see. Spoons left for me to read, paint, or make myself some pasta just the way I like it. (Or lounging on the couch. Don't forget the lost art of lounging.)

 

So how can you add the Spoon theory to your world?

It's all about the check-in.

When you wake up, notice...

Scenario One - Check-In -

"Hmmm lots of spoons this morning. I'm gonna keep that lunch date with mom on Zoom even though she has trouble getting on the computer and it is usually a little chaotic. No problem." 

or

Scenario Two - Check-in - 

"Did I even sleep last night? I feel like junk and my arm is so cranky and swollen when all I did was lay here. Where are my glasses?" And on the way to the bathroom, you step in cat puke! (any kitty mama's out there?) So not very many spoons to even start with so...

I'm canceling lunch with mom and I'm giving grocery duty to my partner while I settle in for a cup of tea and look for a window in my day where I can go on a sweet, loungy walk. 

 

Another scenario is that you might be roaring to go in the morning and then by lunch not so much. Adjust...Take those hard conversations or extras off your plate and get into self-care mode.

(See Self- Care blog here)

 

How can you tell you are low on spoons?

Signs of Low Spoonage 

  • Feeling angry, overwhelmed, or teary just with the act of having to get out of bed

  • Angry at your hubbie whom you normally like, and he is still sleeping

  • Feeling drained with the act of getting dressed for work which is only from the top-up cuz you work from home since quarantine and you Zoom

  • Eating cereal for lunch (not cuz you're a fan but because you can't imagine actually fixing something and ohhh the dishes)

  • Tears because you can't find your keys

  • Yelling at cars on your way to work

  • Feeling the underlying fear of the simple act of merging your car on the highway

  • Eating cereal for dinner

  • Getting mad at Bridgerton on TV cuz they all live in houses that look like cake and go to parties with feathers in their hair 

  • Tired but wired and just lying in bed awake with your mind busy and your body drained

Watch out for your brain and its many, not so helpful questions such as "Why don't I have more spoons" or "Before breast cancer I had so many more spoons" or "Susie has so many more spoons than me."  Not so helpful. If this shows up for you no worries! Just gently bring yourself back to the check-in.

Empathy and compassion for you and alllll you! Ask yourself..."How am I doing?" ...in the morning and also throughout your day. "Am I up for that extra errand or can it wait for a more spoonier day?" Tell your family about the spoon theory. It can be a great way to describe how you're feeling without going all into it..."I don't have many spoons today so I'm gonna lay low. Can you do dinner tonight?" or "Baby, I'm not really up for it but can we spoon?"

As you heal, learn to check in and you will get more and more spoons! Especially if you take care of yourself on those days that are not so spoony.

The spoon theory can be a great way to help reclaim your body after breast cancer. Remember...your body is healing. Healing takes energy and lots of spoons. 

So Check-In...

Reclaim Your Body After Breast Cancer

Melissa RussellComment